penis and weiner – good government is a good show
Two elected officials, ANTHONY WEINER AND NANCY PELOSI, met at a party one night….
Actually it was more like a political party. And it wasn’t so much a party as a house committee meeting. In spite of the formalities they managed to have a very important discussion about his penis and the proper use for it. Which is exactly what you’re supposed to do at a party with a girl, right?
In a media confession, Anthony confirmed the story he was accused of – He sent a photo (twitpic) to a woman who was not his wife. It was a picture of his underwear with a natural event happening underneath it. It went to the wrong destination and became a public document on Twitter. Which then became a scandal with calls for his resignation. He first denied it, then as the story broke out, he said that over three years he had conversations with six different women over the Internet, which included photos. He didn’t meet any of the women.
This is an important and newsworthy event because
1. He is famous
2. There were no earthquakes that day
3. It’s unusual for adults to be interested in naughty pictures
4. You had never seen a naughty photograph before seeing this one (is that really what a Weiner looks like?)
You’re pretty sure you should be upset because
1. Everyone is upset so it must be right
2. Nancy and the newspaper said we’re supposed to feel this way, even though we’ve never met him and he never harmed us personally
3. He is going to hell (which also doesn’t affect us personally)
4. Passing judgment is fun, and his name is Weiner. Weiner?. Weener! Weinergate! This is great. I feel like a kid again.
Did you notice
1. It was a mistake (sent to the wrong e-mail address)
2.He was sending it to another adult (who wanted to receive it)
3. It wasn’t sent to you (why not!?)
4. There was no nudity in the picture (boring)
Other unimportant thoughts to consider:
1. He sent a naughty picture to the wrong place – if you’ve never made a mistake in your life, you shouldn’t have to tolerate mistakes from otters. I mean others.
2. He later confessed to it and said he regrets doing it – if you have no regrets you can’t relate to this.
3. He originally denied doing it (he lied) so – if you judge him we can assume that you’ve never lied
4. He set a bad example for…. who? Us? – if so are we admitting that we can’t think for ourselves?
He should resign because 
1. He didn’t do his job properly
2. We’re passing judgment against him and we want him to
3. I didn’t know there was another option. When a politician makes a mistake he should resign from his job just like regular people do. (you resign every time, right?)
4. Everyone who flirts with someone they’re not married to should resign from their job. (You resigned last time you did something which had nothing to do with your job, right? Nothing extreme there)
The answer is B
we’re offended by people who make mistakes.
and he should lose his job because we’ve lost our minds.
It should also be mentioned that House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi asked for an Ethics Committee probe (will there be a picture of that too?) because it’s time we had ethics in Politics. This only means ethics in Anthony’s bedroom, of course, because the goal has to be realistic. “I am calling for an Ethics Committee investigation to determine whether any official resources were used or any other violation of House rules occurred,”
One photograph. One Weiner. This is obviously a very important problem because they want to commit a committee to it.
After Anthony admitted his actions, he accurately described the size of the problem, “”I’m not going to talk about this anymore. If I was giving a speech to 45,000 people and there was a heckler in the back I wouldn’t spend three days discussing it.”
In addition to spreading this important American news event around the world, America needs to launch a good old fashioned American probe. Like the ones they used to send into space, except this one is going nowhere new. Will they discover life on another planet? Nope. Just sex on this one. Why did he do it? When did he do it? Where did he do it? A two hundred page report would help a lot. Because sex is a big problem in America. Just like other countries, everyone is doing it.
We want Anthony to resign from his job because of something which has nothing to do with his job. And we want a pointless probe from Nancy because…
1. It sounds naughty
2. She sounds like she knows what she’s doing
3. The probe doesn’t need to make sense! We want to them to do it because we’re all hopped up on judgment we need a good judging!
4. It’s a good management decision. For example. If your CEO was sleeping with his secretary you’d want a full report from the board of directors, about where and when it happened, so you could make sense of it. Right? And it also needs an important name. For example, you wouldn’t give it a name like “why did that man like that woman?”. You would call it “the official ethics committee investigation into the activities of a member of the house committee.”
mmmm….. Beautiful words. Official officers. Important information.
Okay, let’s complete the logical path of a good passing of judgment.
- Anthony should resign from his job because he is not a good husband.
- Therefore, Nancy should get a divorce because she’s not really doing anything useful when she’s at work.
Seems simple enough. I see how the world could really be improved by this.
Which law is he accused of breaking? umm… none. This is about opinion. Sort of like an election is about opinion. Except there was no vote. There was just a handful of voices mostly in the press. And Nancy got to say a couple of things too.
This story is an excellent example of judgment gone wrong. (When does judgment ever go right?) Judgment is always in the hands of a small handful of people.
Do Anthony’s actions have an impact on your life?
Yes, you get to pass judgment against him
What is he guilty of?
Being famous
What should we do?
Burn the witch
Who should be upset?
- His wife. Are you his wife?
- Everyone who voted for Nancy. Did you vote for Nancy?
Anthony said,“I have not been honest with myself, my family, my constituents, my friends and supporters, and the media”, “I take full responsibility for my actions.” and “The picture was of me, I sent it.”
He said he would not resign because, “I don’t believe I did anything that violates any law or my oath to my constituents” and “Nothing about this should reflect on my official duties (or) my record.”
The right question was, can he still do his job well?
I don’t know, did he do it well before?
And what about Nancy? Can anyone ever do that job well? Because, well, whats the point of it?
Two weeks after the controversy began, Anthony Weiner did resign. He did it because of pressure from the newspapers and his peers. including president Obama, “I can tell you that if it was me, I would resign. Because public service is exactly that. It’s public service. And when you get to the point where, because of various personal distractions you can’t serve as effectively as you need to, at a time when people are worried about jobs and their mortgages, and paying the bills. Then he should probably step back. Ultimately this job is not about us. It’s not about our positions. It’s about how well we are serving the people who sent us to Washington.
Obama said the work comes first. But no one accused Anthony of doing a bad job, until after he got caught. Anthony wanted to do his job. He had no interest in leaving.
Nancy’s probe will probe the appearance that Anthony was doing his job. Who is going to probe Nancy to see if she is doing her job? Raise your hand if think Nancy should be probed.
Nancy was on her game in this game of blame. The other squirrels were the mainstream media. They asked for blood because blood is a good story.
The squirrels are the true problem. Is Anthony the problem? No. He is a person who made a mistake. You’re not supposed to see it because squirrels don’t let you think about events from a sensible perspective.
Weiner thinks about sex. And he thinks about his job. He probably thinks about a lot of other things too… Oh? Does that sound like everyone? Oops. The squirrels will need to shout louder to try to hide this fact.
The first squirrel at the scene was Andrew Breitbart’s website, Big Government. He exposed the story to the world, when others missed it, and he invites you to buy his book, Righteous Indignation, if you want to “learn more about how we break big stories”.
The squirrels destroyed the career of a person who caused no harm to them. Not a single tiny scratch. Everyone who was asking for blood was acting as if they had been wounded.
This is one of the most common parts of judgment – squirrels will attack others when others have done nothing to harm to them. And they demand that many voices join the battle. It is pure emotion. They teach fear. And fear is always compelling. Fear says don’t think – just do.
Mark Twain said, “many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.”
Some said Anthony should answer to his constituents, but this is still a step short of reality. The requirement to answer his constituents is a rule of the squirrel game – Judgment makes this rule. The squirrels trick us into playing their game. If he made a mistake in his job he needs to answer his constituents, but he didn’t.
The person Anthony needed to answer to was his wife. In all the shouting and pointing who said – go home and talk to your wife.
No one
Boring.
The only reasonable voice in the event was his own. “I make this apology to my neighbors, and my constituents, but I make it particularly to my wife, Huma…” “…So today I am announcing my resignation from congress, so my colleagues can get back to work, my neighbors can choose a new representative, and most importantly, that my wife and I can continue to heal from the damage I have caused.”
Coincidentally, Anthony’s wife, Huma Abedin, is a deputy chief of staff, and Hillary Clinton’s personal assistant. We remember that Bill Clinton nearly faced impeachment in 1998 because of a bigger scandal. Clinton’s career survived it, and he proved that it was a bump, not a mountain, and it didn’t prevent him from doing his job. This is a strong connection to Anthony’s story. But it might have killed the strength of the judgment by putting it into perspective.
The right perspective is to think about getting a good probe from Nancy.
Where did he do it. When did he do it. Why did he do it. This will be a really good government document on responsibility, and proper use of time and effort. How long did it take to send the naughty photograph?
How long will it take to put together a committee, investigate this crime which broke no laws, and write a report that no one will read? How many people will be employed to do it?
Bonus Question: What is the purpose of a Government probe?
1) To find the truth ( haha no )
2) To appear to being doing something useful
3) To give work to current government employees
4) To open the doors to new government employees
5) Most of the above
If you haven’t seen the scandalous photo, with the power to destroy a career, and create a committee, this is it.
So was it blown out of proportion? Or is this the actual size of the scandal?
“i had hoped to be able to continue the work that the citizens of my district elected me to do…” “…unfortunately the distraction that I have created, has made that impossible”
Distraction.
That’s exactly what it was.
But he didn’t cause the distraction. He made a mistake. The squirrels caused the distraction.
And gave us a good lesson on bad Judgment.
The founding fathers of the United States created the constitution with a very specific purpose. It put power into the hands of the people. They believed that the greatest threat to any country was the government of that country. As the government grows, power grows, and the government begins to serve itself. Increasing the size of the government creates a labyrinth of doors which lead to nowhere – the office of “the ethic probe committee on one penis”, for example.
Distractions are part of the game. 
The head of state is like your own head. The more your head interferes, the more it needs to interfere in the future.
Your body is like the body of the world. It knows exactly what to do. Everyone in the country knows how to do their jobs and run their businesses. The less the head interferes the more things fall into a natural balance.
The founding fathers understood this when they created the constitution: the head can’t stop itself. It loves to interfere.
When the head falls in love with itself it no longer understands the body. For example maybe the government thinks that a probe on political ethics is useful and important.
When the report comes out
- Are you going to read it?
- Are they going to follow it?
Oops. Did I distract you? What about Anthony? Do we still need to punish him for being human?
“People who draw conclusions about me are free to do so,” Anthony said. “I’ve worked for the people of my district for 13 years and in politics for 20 years and I hope they see fit to see this in the light that it is.”
Nope. Not this time. Maybe in a more sensible time and place in a galaxy far away…
Mark Twain said, “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself”
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